you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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