Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Also, beer. Big fan.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
