She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
