Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
