you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
The feeling are messing with the penis
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
