I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
