you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
