Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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