You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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