so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
