So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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