I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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