M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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