My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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