Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
