just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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