im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
