but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
