everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
