I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
i out mim tonsoeep
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
