Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
