I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
