All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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