Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
