I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
