still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
