Have you finally orgasmed yet?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
