its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
