yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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