Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
