Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm at about main and main street
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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