I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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