I queefed so loud it echoed.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
