His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
