We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
