Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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