Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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