Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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