Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize