when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
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