I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
