omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
