People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
