12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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