watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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