I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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