: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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