um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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