Betty ford says i'm here all night
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
