I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
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were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
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idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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