Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
soo... how was my night?
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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