I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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