Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
