I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
