i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
