Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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