yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
