I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
