What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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